My Last Breath
by Try Me
Summary: Lizzie and Gordo share love and something more.


Sorry I haven't updated SAfe Place. Anyway, I am back and working on a new chapter for SAfe Place. So have no fear! Jamie is here! Hope you enjoy this fic!

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**_Hold on to me love  
You know I can't stay long  
All I wanted to say was  
I love you and I'm not afraid_**

I woke up with a start and decided to go for a walk. It was way past midnight, but no where near time to get up. I knew what was happening to me. It was time for me to go. We had all known this since early March. Mom and Dad had come to terms with it, I had also after 6 months of feeling sorry for myself. Matt couldn't bear to look at me. I just hope he doesn't take it hard. I love my baby brother no matter what I've said or done to him in the past.

I sat up and looked at my body in the bed. "Sleep tight, just please let me get this done before you decide to go." I gave my earthly self on last look and went down the hall.

I kissed mom on the forhead and whispered I love you into her ear. I hugged dad and told him that I'd always be his baby girl and left the room with tears in my eyes. I went to Matts room and kissed him on the forehead and placed a letter that I wrote for him a few months ago on his desk. Then left for Kates house.

* * *

"I know that for the last few years we've been at each others throats, but I admire your upforwardness, and confidence. Please don't forget me and never change." I whispered into her sleeping ear. 

"Lizzie, I'm sorry." She whispered in her sleep with tears streaming down her face.

"I know Kate, I know. But I must go." With that peace filling the room, I left for Mirandas house.

* * *

"I've known you all my life Miranda, and I never knew that you sleep naked. Anyway, thats not what I came here to find out. I just wanted to tell you that I love like your a sister. I'll miss you very much, but please don't get depressed me. Be happy that I'm not in anymore pain. I'm so sorry that things turned out this way. I want you to have my grandmothers ring. It brought me lots of luck, and I hope it does the same for you." I hugged her and placed and envelope on her dresser that way if she didn't hear me, she'd know how I felt. 

"Lizzie, I know your here, and I can't see you, but I feel you. I love you. Your my best friend. I'll miss you." Miranda said sitting up. I went over to her and hugged her. Then went to my last stop, Gordos house.

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Gordo's sleeping form was even more handsome than when he was awake. This was what I'd miss the most. My boyfriend. The love of my life. I knew he'd take this harder than anyone else would. I crawled into bed with him and kissed his cheek as he wraped his arms around me. This was so hard to do. 

"I love you sweetie. I'm not afraid of going. I just don't want to leave you alone."

**_Can you hear me?  
Can you feel me in your arms  
Holding my last breath?  
Safe inside myself  
Are all my thoughts of you Sweet rapture and life,  
It ends here tonight._**

Gordos breath hitched. "I wish you could hear me, and feel me lying here next to you. All I want is to stay here with you in your arms and feel your love."

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**FlAsHbAcK**

"Lizzie, I have something to tell you."

"Gordo, Are you okay? Your sweating pretty bad. "

"I'm just fine... I'll probably be better after I get this off my chest."

"Is it something serious? Are you moving away? Please say that your not... I don't know what I'd do without you. You've been my best friend since birth... I'm sure mom and dad would let you live with me... Of course-"

"Liz, I'm not moving. I.. just don't know how to get this out. I just want you to know that being your friend means everything to me and I don't want it to change."

"Gordo, being your friend has meant alot to me to. I'd never want to lose what we have."

"Good, then we're on the same page. Lizzie, I like you alot."

"I like you alot too Gordo. You're a good friend."

"Not that kind of like. I... would... like to... uhm, how should I say this?"

"You just blurt it all out and get it out into the open so you'll feel better."

"Okay, I'd like to be your boyfriend and then maybe if things go like I think they will, I'd like to be your husband, and the father of your children."

"Gordo, why don't we start with you just being my boyfriend." I said getting closer to him.

"That sounds good." He said leaning into the kiss I planted on him.

**EnD fLaShBaCk**

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_**I'll miss the winter  
A world of fragile things  
Look for me in the white forest  
Hiding in a hollow tree**_

"I just wish that I would have married you when you asked me. I shouldn't have told you no because I was hurting. We could have had a winter wedding under the trees in the park. They were so pretty in the snow. If only that bastard hadn't raped me this wouldn't be happening. Just when I thought I was done feeling sorry for myself, I start again."

I just layed in Gordos embrace watching him sweat. I felt so horrible that he contracted it too. I shouldn't have done that with him until I found out for sure. So, not only would Miranda lose me, she was going to lose Gordo too. It was all too depressing to think about. Here we are only 18, suddenly strait A Gordo and B average me, have our lifes biggest ambition become graduating high school. Something that I'm going to miss doing by 2 weeks. At least Gordo will be able to.

Life is short. There are alot of things that I wish I had done, but hadn't and vice versa. I'm ready to go and I can feel my hang on life slipping away.

* * *

_**I know you hear me,  
I can taste it in your tears.  
Holding my last breath  
Safe inside myself  
Are all my thoughts of you.  
**__**Sweet rapture and life,  
It ends here tonight.  
**_

Suddenly Gordos grip on me tightened and tears fell from his sleeping eyes.

"Gordo, can you hear me?"

No response from him. "Well, this is where I wanted to be when I went and this is where I'm going to stay." I told his sleeping figure laying back down. I kissed away his tears and wrapped my arms around him. "I love you so much. I know I'll see you sooner than I wish, but I'll miss you. Take care of mom, dad, Matt and Miranda for me. I'm so glad they found each other."

* * *

**_Closing your eyes  
You pray your dreams will leave you here,  
But still you wake and know the truth -  
No one's there.  
_**

"Liz!" Gordo yelled out into the silence of his room.

"David? Son whats happening?" His parents freaked running into his room "Do we need an emergency room visit?"

"No, I need to go check on Lizzie."

"David, you are sick. Call her, you'll see that shes fine."

"No mom, you don't understand. I know that you still don't like her cause you think she knowingly selfishly gave me this, but if you saw how much she beats herself up and apologizes everytime were together. Maybe then you'll forgive her. Besides mom, it takes two and I knew the risks."

"David, I forgave her a long time ago. I just want you to get better and at least let your son get some memories of you."

"Fine, I'll call her. But if she doesn't answer I'm going over there."

* * *

**_  
Say goodnight, don't be afraid  
Calling me, holding me, as you fade to black._**

He wasn't supposed to wake up. He was supposed to get my letter and leave it at that. I at least wanted that much. I didn't want to have people know I was going. This is making it too much harder.

"Liz, who would be calling this late at night?" Mom asked walking in. "Don't they know that they will wake Tristan up?"

It was then when mom turned the light on tht she noticed it was time. It was then that she knew just who was calling.

"Gordo, you need to get here."

"I know you want to stay here sweetie. Don't talk, just know that I understand and I love you very much. You are everything we could have asked for and more." Mom told me sitting next to my bed in dads arms. She was careful not to wake Matt knowing that I didn't want him to watch me die. He's just a baby, at least I think so now that I am going so young.

"Liz, see mom I told you." Gordo said rushing to my bedside. "I love you so much, I don't want you to go." he cried laying his head on my chest.

"Sweetie, we both knew this was going to happen. I love you too, just get Tristan and hold me like you used to." I told him with tears filling my eyes.

Everyone left the room except Mrs. Gordon, Gordo, Tristan, and I.

"Lizzie, I don't know if you know that I don't blame you. I know I said horrible things to you, but I didn't want to even think that my baby would ever go through somthing this horrible. Much less lose his love to it. I didn't even want to lose my daughter to it."

"I forgive you, I was never mad at you though, I completely understood. I just wish I could have become your daughter for real."

"You are my daughter for real. I don't need paper to prove it. It's all in here." She pointed to her chest with tears falling freely, blew me a kiss and left the three of us alone.

****

(Say goodnight) Holding my last breath  
(Don't be afraid) Safe inside myself  
(Holding me) Are my thoughts of you  
Sweet rapture and life,  
It ends here tonight.

"Lizzie, I love you." Gordo whispered into my ear laying behind me.

"I love you too. Please get Tristans letter into his baby book for me. I want him to know that no matter what, even though I'm not there. I loved him more than my own life." I said weakly suggling into Gordos side rubbing our precious baby boys hair.

"Liz, purple sheep."

I smiled. "Yeah, pur..ple Shee...p." Exhaling my breath.

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AN>Purple sheep was how they shared their love when they meant more than "I love you". Anywho, sad and crappy I know. Just thought I'd throw it out to the sharks. Like I said before, Working on SAfe Place, if anyone remembers it. LOL later, JAM! **_


End file.
